Breaking the news

I was only mildly flipping out about telling the family, as I knew they would all be very excited. It was more a question of exactly what to say. We decided to tell my mum and dad first and then tell my brother and sister once the kids had gone to bed. It went almost to plan.

My brother was already there when we arrived but fortunately he took the dogs out shortly after we got there so I told my mum to stop hoovering and my dad to stop grating a horse radish.
'How important is it?'
I considered this briefly and replied 'very'. Then I said I was pregnant and there were hugs all round. My dad congratulated my husband, which I found somewhat annoying, it's not just proof of masculinity and it's me who's got to grow the thing inside me!

I had initially planned to tell bro and sis pretty much as soon as her kids had gone to bed but she came back down in a foul mood so I thought we would all just play Absolute Balderdash for a while to cheer her up. Then they started smoking. I put up with one cigarette but as my unease and discomfort grew I realised I had to intercede.

'Umm, I didn't quite mean to tell you like this but can you stop smoking please because I'm pregnant.'

Not exactly the words I would have chosen, but hey. There were more hugs, and excitement, and offerings of advice and admonishings for not having said anything sooner.

Then there was more Absolute Balderdash.

Then as my sister and her husband got progressively more and more drunk, they hugged me more and more and kept whispering things to me and telling me to ignore their other half because they were drunk. V amusing.

There has been a lot of cheese already that I am not allowed to eat. I think this very unfair. But on the plus side, the whole pregnant thing has given me a free pass to go and have little naps when I'm tired, which is ace.

I'm back to work on Tuesday, though, and I don't intend to tell anyone there for a while yet so I almost definitely won't be allowed to vanish off and have a little sleep, which is a great shame.

Nor can I comfort myself with stinky cheese.

Pregnant

Well, three positive pregnancy tests is fairly definitive. I had my first symptom the other day - I was sitting watching tv and hubby told me I'd gone very red in the face. I was getting a pregnancy flush - made me feel actually preggers, which was quite exciting.

I went to see the doctor's yesterday. It was rubbish. I kind of knew it would be, having read up on first doctor visits. She asked me if I had taken a pregnancy test, and if I was happy about it, and then got me to fill in some forms and that was pretty much it! No test, no blood pressure, nothing. She did say I could ask questions but generally, it was a bit pants. Other than that I can now say I am six weeks pregnant (!) and am due on August 20. Flaming Nora!

After going to the docs, I bought another pregnancy test (an expensive brand name one with a digital readout) and I sneakily weed on it at home and it came up trumps again, saying pregnant and also that I conceived more than three weeks ago. Get me!

Rather inconveniently, hubby had been off work because of snow (none here, but masses at his work) and it was becoming increasingly difficult to do subtle pregnancy research without telling him what I was doing. So, after much internal wrestling, I wrapped the test up (the flash one) and told him I was giving him an early Christmas present.

I think he thought it was a joke to begin with, but then he was excited - I don't think it has really sunk in for either of us yet. But he has been fetching and carrying for me left right and centre, which is of course how it should be.

I'm going to break it to the rest of the family on Christmas Day...

Second test

Well, I decided I would actually wee on the stick this time, you know, to make sure I was properly following the results.

As I anticipated, it wasn't terribly easy. I didn't wee on my hand - but I did wee on the results window, which the instructions say you are NOT SUPPOSED TO DO. It didn't actually say how this would affect the efficacy of the test though, but I assume I should not pay too much heed to it.

It came out preggers again though...

I have not slept well since the first test - probably largely because I haven't told my husband yet and have embarked on a slightly tangled web of deceit. I just want to get the doc's big thumbs up before I get him too excited. My plan is to wrap the positive test up and present it to him on Christmas Day - cheesy, n'est-ce pas?

Anyway, I've got an appointment with the doc tomorrow. I can't believe this is happening so fast - it's scary but exciting. It keeps bringing up stupid questions tho - I was going to buy some new salsa shoes as my old ones are wearing through, but is there much point, am I okay to continue salsaing my ass off? Presumably for a while but maybe not when I'm the size of a whale. And we talked vaguely about moving before a baby arrives as our bathroom is about as small as I am - I guess that plan is going to have to kick into gear really quickly.

On the plus side, I read quickly about things to avoid in pregnancy last night and it looks like I've got a reprieve from emptying the cat litter - could carry the rare but v nasty toxoplasmosis. Oh yeah! Of course, when I tell my husband, it will stretch from not emptying the cat litter to not emptying any of the bins. There have to be some advantages to being up the duff other than having vastly swollen funbags.

Anyway, let's see what the doc says tomorrow. As my second test should probably be discounted, it is still entirely possible that test one was a false positive and it is for this reason I'm keeping schtum until I get confirmation.

Holy crap

I couldn't sleep last night and I had two dreams where I took the test and it was positive.

So at about 6am this morning, I snuck out of bed and peed on a stick (actually, I peed in a cup then stuck a stick in it, easier not to wee on your hand that way).

Two lines appeared.

TWO LINES.

That means, according to the Sainsbury's Basically up the duff instructions, I am probably pregnant.

I haven't got time to digest this today as my best friend is coming over in just over an hour for her hen do, so I'm going to semi ignore this (while not eating any yummy cheese) then take another test on Monday. If I get another TWO LINES I will call the docs and get an appointment and see if he/she concurs.

I'm not going to tell my husband until the doctor gives me the thumbs up.

It would be a totally ace Christmas present if it was true though...

35 days...

...is how long it has been since my last period. I am unsure whether to read anything into this or not. On the one hand, that is rather long for me to go between periods, base on my pre-progesterone only pill habit. On the other, periods are notoriously skippy after coming off the mini pill.

Walking home today, it started snowing and I felt a little bloated (undoubtedly all the Christmas chocolate floating around) and I started thinking maybe all the magic was telling me I was up the duff.

Then it stopped snowing and I felt a little uncomfy down below and I convinced myself I had in fact just started my period. Fortunately, when I got home (fortunately because it was about another 10-15 minutes walk) this turned out not to be the case. The monthly visitor is still MIA. I might take a pregnancy test in the morning (when your urine is apparently the most concentrated, according to the Sainsbury's basic 'are you knocked up' test which I was reading while having a pee earlier). Then again, I may wake up and find my question has been answered.

On another note it's so freezing at the moment I am seriously contemplating wearing gloves to bed.

Ill

I am not very well this week. I had a bit of a dizzy spell at work and went home, then tried to come back the following two days only to be sent home again because I wasn't up to it. The moment I ran out of a meeting because I was about to burst into tears was a particular high point...

This has very little to do with Operation Cobra. As I had a period just over three weeks ago, even if I had got knocked up almost immediately afterwards, it would be far too early for it to have any impact and make me feel woozy. Still, I felt it worth mentioning to the doctor, who I went to see yesterday after my colleagues repeatedly expressed concern (some people are lucky that they don't get headaches and therefore do not understand how debilitating they can be).

I was kind of hoping she might do a pregnancy test anyway, just to be on the safe side, but no, unfortunately she concurred with my fairly reasonable assessment, and sent me off with a prescription for codeine and sumatriptan. I haven't taken codeine before - it's interesting. A little trippy. I find it mildly amusing that often the side effects for drugs you take for headaches and dizziness are - headaches and dizziness. Plus some other stuff I don't even want to consider. Apparently, the codeine doesn't interact with the paracetamol and ibuprofen I was taking, or the sumatriptan for that matter, so if I so desired I could be taking four different types of painkillers. Perhaps a tad excessive.

On the plus side, you're not supposed to take any of these drugs with alcohol so I have a bonafide reason for not drinking - useful, as I am seeing a bunch of friends tonight in a pre-xmas outting that has been arranged for weeks. I wouldn't say I was exactly up to it, but heyho, the giggles may do me good.

I read somewhere that pregnancy can bring on nasty headaches, which is not a good thing. However, apparently if you already get migraines or similar, they often go away when with child. Something to look forward to? I suspect this is wishful thinking, but here's wishing.

I said a little prayer today, as I was heading towards the chemist for my array of legal pharmaceuticals, asking for a child. If you're a believer, maybe you could offer up a prayer for me too, cos I would be a totally ace mum - if you're not, perhaps you could just be rooting for me.

I hope the codeine wooziness dissipates soon, or this is going to be one surreal evening.