Hips and harnesses

Elodie, it seems, is not quite perfect in the physical sense. Clicky hips discovered on her newborn paediatric exam have now turned out to be developmental displasia of the hips - and she has to wear a harness for at least six weeks.

I'm not entirely sure how to feel about it - it is, by the sounds of it, an entirely fixable problem and the physios umm-ed and aah-ed for some time before deciding she should go into the harness so she is sort of borderline. And the hip which was identified as problematic at birth improved drastically after wearing double nappies for two weeks - unfortunately the other hip, which had been borderline, did not improve at all. Hence the harness.

It looks a bit like a parachute harness without the parachute and with the addition of straps going down her legs and enclosing her feet. It is not exactly convenient. While she is allowed it off briefly every day to have some time to kick her legs about, the shape and structure of the harness means she can no longer wear vests that do up under the nappy, and some of her babygrows are immediately too small meaning for the most part we have had to move up to 0-3month size. More annoyingly for me has been the fact that she can't breastfeed in the same positions we had mastered - she has to have her legs held open at all times so cradling her is a big no-no. After quite a bit of practice (well, she does feed about a million times a day) we have got two poses, one for sitting down and one for lying down, which seem to be mutually satisfactory.

In other news, my mother has been ensconced here on and off for two weeks and has been extremely helpful. While here mainly to help me with things that the c-section physically makes difficult, she has also been doing almost all the cooking and washing up, as well as making lots of cups of tea and generally being helpful but not at all overbearing. I have managed to breastfeed in public once (prior to the harness being put in) down the pub with my sister and her husband, and have also had lunch in Costa Coffee with my mother and managed to make it to a postnatal group, a baby clinic and the breastfeeding cafe. I have also expressed my first breastmilk - but therein lies another post...

Two weeks is not very long

My husband's paternity leave ended on Monday and he went back to work. When I was planning to have a nice normal birth with no nasty stitches or operation, I had intended just to get on with the business of mummying on my own. But obviously, with a c-section things are rather more complicated, what with the not being able to bend over to pick things up or lift anything other than the baby.

So my lovely mother has come to stay. I am lucky in that we have a very good relationship and I like spending time with her. She is also not someone who is wont to tell me what to do, butt in, or generally interfere with me getting to grips with mummyhood. Instead, she has been very helpful at picking up things I have dropped, getting me cups of tea, and, of course, giving the baby the odd cuddle. We even managed to make it to Tesco the other day - with Elodie in tow. It took an hour and a half to leave the house as Elodie decided she wanted to feed, feed again, do a poo and then have another little feed first. Then she was fine and was in the car as good as gold, and happily in my sling while we walked around Tesco. Although when we got home, congratulating ourselves on our achievement, we realised that the small, separate pile of shopping which my mother had intended to buy had been left on the conveyor belt for the next customer. Ooops.

My husband doesn't seem to be suffering massive separation anxiety from having to leave his teeny offspring each day. And he is getting even better at sleeping through night feeds. Which have been getting a little more trying for me. I'm hoping that she is just going through a growth spurt, but the last couple of nights, she has been feeding on and off between about 10pm and 3am - sometimes just a tiny bit at a time then apparently falling asleep, but complaining when you try and put her down. This is really quite tiring. She then only gets up again at 6am to 7am, but really, that's not very much sleep for me. I think what makes it difficult is that I don't really know when she is going to stop - so each time having fed her, given her lots of cuddles, possibly changed her and then put her tenderly into the cot, I am hopeful that this is it and I can go to sleep. But invariably, it isn't. It doesn't help that I had a friend over yesterday and was unable to have a rest during the day, so am feeling really quite drained today. Elodie, however, seems very happy with life. She is also having a nice long sleep now - I am tempted to try and wake her to encourage wakefulness during daylight hours and sleepiness more during the night.

I went to a family centre with my friend T yesterday in the hope of joining a bumps to babies group. Unfortunately, there were no bumps or babies - apparently the group was quite big but they are hoping to restart it again after the summer because it all quietened down. I am now trying to search out other possible groups - I have got to find some other mums at some point or it will just be me and, err, mumsnet for advice. My husband thinks I have become addicted. I'm yet to post though, I'm currently just lurking. The family centre, however, was amazing - completely chaotic, unbelievably noisy and messy and just good fun with children crawling, running and playing all over the place. A favourite activity appeared to be mixing flour, water and some green stuff together with whisks and spatulas, which ended up with green gloop on the floor, on the children's clothes and hair, on the midwife we were chatting to and even a teeny bit on Elodie. I think she needs to get a bit bigger before she'll get the most out of it, but it will definitely be fun.

The first two weeks

Elodie has been with us for 15 days now. She's totally gorgeous and also unintentionally hilarious - who would have thought that a tiny baby could parp as loudly as an adult? I have been reflecting on some of the things that have surprised me over the last two weeks

*it is (currently) less tiring having a well-behaved newborn baby than being heavily pregnant

*if you don't feed soon enough from one boob, it will go hard, lumpy and may start leaking milk

*dads can sleep through babies crying. Mums can't.

*it is really frustrating not being able to bend down to pick things up off the floor when you drop them

*after a caesarean you will not be able to bend over sufficiently to shave your legs. Mine currently look like a forest.

*every time a midwife has been to my house, she has seen (and handled) my naked breasts

*every time a midwife or health professional gives you advice about anything, it conflicts with what someone else has told you

*to begin with, when you are breastfeeding, you will literally not be able to do anything else. It takes both hands, legs, and a mountain of pillows

*when you take iron tablets, your poo goes black

*despite nine months of abstinence, you really don't feel like getting ratted at all after having a baby. Disappointing, that one.

*post-caesarean, sitting up hurts. Moving too suddenly hurts. Bending over to pick stuff up hurts.

*when you take a teeny baby out with you, everyone looks at it and smiles

It's supposed to take about six weeks to recover from a caesarean - by that token I need another four weeks before I'm fighting fit. The question of sex raised it's thorny head last night. When my husband looked at me very seriously and said 'but I'm not a gentle lover' I pissed myself laughing. Hope it didn't hurt his feelings...