Pain and lies

I have done my back in. Not by doing something foolish like lifting something heavy - a cast iron bath, for example, which my mother thought it would be a smashing idea to move when she was up the duff with my brother. No, all I did was cycle in the rain with my work bag slung across my back. Part of the way to my destination, I realised there was something wrong - perhaps I went over a pothole, or twisted and swerved in an inavisable manner...

At any rate, by the time I got to work I was in not quite excruciating but very real pain, leading me to limp like a chimp who has been buggered senseless.　Not the best look, but fortunately instead of derision (the normal response from some of my infantile colleagues) I managed to score sympathy and a rather necessary lift home at the end of the day. I'm hoping it's nothing more than a twinge and will be gone in the morning.

Elsewhere, it's astonishing the number of white lies I have had to dish out while the pregnancy remains on the down-low. A couple of my colleagues were discussing the trials and tribulations of IVF in relation to a couple we knew (ish) who had finally manage to conceive in this manner. Me being the only married of the three of us they turned and asked if we were planning to have children. I said 'yeah' in a somewhat distant tone and they somehow took this to assume what I meant was 'one day, but sure as hell not right now'... Then one of the same colleagues was trying to track down pregnant women who were going to be having ultrasound scans and was desperately asking if we happened to know anyone who was pregnant...

"Yes" I cried inside my head, "me!" but of course I remained resolutely unhelpful.

I am spending a fair bit of time googling maternity clothes, pregnancy symptoms and various stages of gestation in my down-time at work but so far no-one appears to have noticed. I am surrounded for the most part by men, which could explain it, or alternatively they could be all unexpectedly discreet. Which I somehow doubt.

It is now only two weeks to my scan so provided that goes okay, I think I can break the news to those not in the know. I had to tell one of my other friends the other day because I am due to be bridesmaid at her wedding in May and she was planning to order dresses. Thankfully, she was thrilled and is happy for me to find my own, individual maternity bridesmaid dress. Hot, n'est-ce pas?

I wonder if anyone has their suspicions or whether they're all completely in the dark. We shall see.