Operation Cobra

We now have a name for mission get pregnant - one slightly more catchy than what I've just said. I'm not sure it's entirely - or indeed at all - necessary to have a special code name, other than to make it feel like we're in some super cool spy movie. Or alternately a seriously lame police force where they call cracking down on groups of teenager hanging around Operation Bagatha. Operation Cobra (it has no meaning or relevance at all which is why I like it) is way more cool than that.

A couple of my friends have bought their first houses recently, and one of them has recently announced her engagement. Me and my husband (gotta think of a suitably appropriate nickname for him) and these two other couples were getting together to celebrate the other day over more fish and chips than would seem feasible.

Anyway, there was some kind of toast and hubby said: "... and Bellygazer is definitely NOT pregnant". This was when I'd just had my period.

He was greeted by embarrassed silence. My best friend (no stranger to our baby making plans) later took me aside and said to make sure that when I told my husband I was up the duff, I was happy at that point for everyone in our acquaintance to know as sure as pigs taste delicious in bacon rolls, he wouldn't be able to keep it from everyone.

Operation Cobra isn't exactly a secret - being the first of our friends to get married everyone has been rooting for babies and taking bets on how soon my tummy would be swelling with more than just pies and cheese. Maybe three or four of my closest friends know I'm off the pill and on a mini-mission, as does my mother. She thinks I ought to tell my dad, but hell no to that, it would mean implying that his daughter actually has sex.

However, for obvious reasons, I don't want my fertility to be too much of a talking point putting pressure on us if it takes a little longer than expected for the right sperm and the right egg to swoon over each other in the romantic setting of my dimly lit womb. Also, I don't want anyone at my work to know until I'm properly, thoroughly pregnant because I don't want it to affect how I get treated there.

Ah,bless the boy. He just looked over my shoulder and asked why what he said was followed by silence. I'm still not sure he quite understands. At least it wasn't when I was out with my workmates, cos that would have been embarrassing. Hey ho.

On another note, I read up about how to pregnant earlier today - not the birds and the bees, obviously I'm not that dim, just tips on how to increase your chances. Apparently, missionary and doggy style are good, woman on top not so good. And some people like to stick their legs up for 20 minutes afterwards, despite absolutely no empirical evidence that this has any effect. Also, you look and feel silly.

We shall see.